Liking two guys at once might sound like a rom-com dream, but in real life, it can feel more like emotional whiplash. When your heart is stuck between two people, the best way forward is clarity—starting with how each one makes you feel, what they bring to your life, and what you truly want in a relationship.
1. Look at the green flags
Spend time with each guy and take note of what makes you light up around them. Do they make you laugh? Do you feel calm, secure, excited, or seen when you're with them? Key traits to watch for:
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He makes you genuinely laugh (not just forced smiles).
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He respects your boundaries and doesn't rush intimacy.
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He has emotional depth and isn’t afraid to show it.
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He’s kind, respectful, and curious about the world—not just himself.
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He takes things slow and makes you feel valued.
These are signs of a healthy potential partner—not just a fling.
2. Tune in to how you feel
Sometimes the heart knows what the checklist doesn’t. Ask yourself:
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Do I feel like the best version of myself around him?
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Does he make me feel confident, happy, or safe?
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Do I catch myself smiling just thinking about him?
Butterflies are great, but don't ignore the quiet kind of happiness that makes you feel at peace and grounded.
3. Don’t ignore the red flags
Even if he gives you heart eyes, you need to be honest about any red flags:
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Is he controlling, manipulative, or jealous?
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Is he carrying major emotional baggage?
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Has he lied to you before or talked behind your back?
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Does he still bring up his ex—too much?
Emotional chemistry can't fix toxic behavior. You’re not responsible for saving someone from their issues.
4. Consider how much he actually values you
Mutual feelings matter. If one guy is all-in while the other is playing it cool or keeping his options open, that’s something to factor in.
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Does he talk about your future together?
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Does he treat you like a priority or just an option?
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Does he listen, check in, and support you when you’re going through things?
Even if you're not looking for something serious, being wanted and respected is non-negotiable.
5. Ask someone who really knows you
A trusted friend can offer insight without bias. Don’t ask “Which guy is cuter?”—ask “Which one do you think is better for me?” They might see things you can’t.
But remember: You’re the one living with your decision. Don’t rely on someone else to choose your relationship.
6. Do the classic pros and cons list
Yes, the old-school method still works. Write down:
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Strengths and weaknesses of each guy
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What you want in a partner long-term
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How each guy aligns with that
Then ask yourself:
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Which one shows up for me during tough times?
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Who makes me feel more me?
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Who fits naturally into my life, friends, and family?
7. Trust your gut (seriously)
If flipping a coin makes your stomach lurch toward one guy, that’s your answer. Your intuition is smarter than you think.
And if you’re still confused or drawn to someone toxic? Take a break from both. No relationship is better than the wrong one.
8. Take your time—but don’t drag it out
You don’t need to decide overnight. Give it space. One guy might reveal his true colors with time. But don’t keep both guys in limbo for weeks on end—ghosting or stringing someone along will only make things messier.
Pro tip: Healthy relationships feel stable, not chaotic. Long-term love often feels like calm safety, not constant drama.
Once you’ve made your choice, commit. You don’t have to announce it with a trumpet. Just start showing up fully for the one you chose. Be respectful to the other, but set boundaries. Yes, there may be awkward moments, and yes, you might lose the one you didn’t pick—but loving someone fully means letting go of the “what ifs.”
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