Is someone overstaying their welcome? Whether it’s a friend crashing “just for a week” or a relative who’s made your place their second home, asking them to leave can feel awkward—but it doesn’t have to be hostile. This guide shows how to ask someone to move out of your house respectfully, set boundaries with houseguests, and even handle legal eviction if needed.
Step 1: Get Clear on Why You Want Them to Leave
Before you talk, figure out your reasons. Is it broken promises? Bad habits? Overstaying past the agreed timeline? Write down specific incidents with dates. Clarity helps you stay calm and confident.
📝 Example: “You said you’d be gone by March, but it’s already June, and you haven’t looked for a job.”
Step 2: Have a Calm and Direct Conversation
Speak like you would in a professional setting—firm but respectful. Avoid emotional outbursts or guilt trips.
💬 Say this: “We’ve really enjoyed having you here, but we need our space back. Can you move out by the 20th?”
If they’re struggling financially or emotionally, offer info on housing assistance, shelters, or other local resources.
Step 3: Give a Clear Deadline
Don’t just say “soon.” Set a firm move-out date, ideally 1–2 weeks ahead. Be flexible by a few days if needed—but not too much.
📅 Example: “We need you moved out by June 20th. Let me know if that’s doable.”
Step 4: Be Honest, Not Harsh
Don’t insult them. Instead, use facts and neutral language. Mention specific behaviors (not personality flaws) that make co-living hard.
🧾 “You’ve missed rent three times” is better than “You’re irresponsible.”
Humor can help too—but only if the mood allows. Light self-deprecation works: “You’re so chill I’ve started skipping my cleaning routine!”
Step 5: Offer Support (If You Can)
Show compassion without sacrificing your boundaries. Help them search for housing or jobs, review resumes, or offer moving boxes. A little support can make the transition smoother.
Step 6: Stay Firm and Consistent
Once you’ve made your decision, don’t backtrack. Wavering tells them they can stay indefinitely. Set the tone: respectful, but non-negotiable.
Step 7: Know the Risk to the Relationship
Yes, this might hurt your relationship. But staying silent while resenting them damages the connection too. It's better to have a tough talk now than ruin things later.
✅ If you want to stay friends:
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Avoid blame or insults.
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Help them land on their feet.
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Keep in touch after they move.
❌ If things turn toxic, it may be time to cut ties—for your peace of mind.
When Things Get Legal: Evicting Someone the Right Way
If your guest refuses to leave, here's how to handle it legally.
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Send a 30-Day Written Notice
Mail a certified letter requesting they move out. If they've been staying over 30 days or contributed money (even for groceries), they may qualify as an "at-will tenant." -
File for Legal Eviction
If they ignore your notice, file an official eviction with your local court. Always check your state’s laws or consult a tenant-law attorney. -
Don't Change the Locks (Yet)
Locking someone out before a court order—especially if their stuff’s still inside—can get you into serious legal trouble. -
Call the Police if Necessary
If you’ve done everything right and they still won’t go, you can legally report them as a trespasser—especially if they aren’t on the lease or receiving mail at your home.
Set Boundaries Early with Houseguests
Avoid future issues by setting expectations upfront.
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Talk within the first week about rent, job hunting, and how long they’ll stay.
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Make a written agreement outlining responsibilities and timelines.
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Track behavior issues like missed chores or disrespect with notes and dates.
Encourage independence by helping them with job leads, resumes, or rental searches.
